And it all seemed so funny and strange and romantic that the thought of it not being so was already enough to break my heart and shatter my world…
You treating me kindly, doing nice things for me without my asking, and showing an interest beyond friendship in me does not make me obligated to return your affections in any kind of emotional or physical manner. You thinking so is both foolish and childish.
That’s all. I don’t understand why this is so hard.
You made out with my ex-boyfriend?
And didn’t tell me?
And then you acted like we were friends?
You stole the breath from my chest with the sleight of your hand and placed the stars in my eyes with your kiss.
If there’s one thing innocence has taught me it’s that I am not innocent at all, but that I am a mere projection of a false reality not even I could have created in the poetry I fill my notebooks with.
Beware here: For the winds of change shift me to and fro and I am swayed as easily by this force as you are by the excitement of going somewhere where nobody knows your face or name. And when it comes down to it I would rather be swayed than not so that just once I can feel like a wanderer too.
But there is an inherent problem with this. My version steals the heart from your chest and the stars from the sky and leaves nothing behind but regret and a wisdom only I can carry safely with me.
So from one wanderer to the next - not everything is what it seems. Watch your step and don’t be swayed as easily as me.
- LKS 12/17/12
1. I just found out who my mentor from the music school is. Not only is he a badass drummer, he’s won several Grammys and is a kick ass producer. Cannot contain my excitement. I just hope he likes me!
2. I got a real explanation/apology from my ex. I feel so much better about life. I think I may be able to rest easy now :)